Harry Potter and the Half Wit Parodies
by frenchhornfreak
Summary: Two parody songs that my friend and I made up. They're rather funny and random.
1. Good Morning Voldemort

A/N: Okay, didn't expect to see anything other than POTC on here, did you? I decided that I was going to post these because Mar liked them, and I said, "What the heck. Why not?" My friend and I made these two songs up while in the pool one hot day last summer, and they're quite funny. The first one is sung to the tune of "Good Morning Baltimore" from the musical Hairspray, and the second one to the tune of "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid. The whole idea came from my friend telling me that when her mom first saw Hairspray, she thought they were singing "Good morning Voldemort" rather than "Good morning Baltimore", and then, two hours later, we had four notebook pages filled with these songs. Enjoy, but do keep in mind that these are parodies and not meant to be literary masterpieces. They're for entertainment purposes only.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, nor do I own the tunes I borrowed from Hairspray and The Little Mermaid.

* * *

Good Morning Voldemort

Sung by Harry Potter

Oh Oh Oh  
Woke up today  
Feeling the way I always do  
Oh Oh Oh  
Hiding from something that I can't see  
That's following me  
My scar splits in two  
What am I supposed to do  
It's like a signal he's coming for me  
Oh Oh Oh  
Pulling me out to the place that I don't want to be

Good Morning Voldemort!  
Every day's like a closed door  
Every night is a scary dream  
Every sound's like a wolverine  
Good Morning Voldemort!  
And someday when I meet you again  
The world's gonna wake up and see  
The boy who lived, lives on

Oh Oh Oh  
Look at my hair  
It goes everywhere…it's uncontrollable  
Oh Oh Oh  
I've got my broomstick, my cloak and my wand  
I'm ready to go!  
The rats in the street  
All cower at my feet  
They seem to say "Oh no! He's coming!"  
So Oh Oh  
Please hold me back  
Cuz today I may never come home!

Good morning Voldemort!  
There's my cousin who can't fit through the door  
There's the Weasley that I adore  
But Voldemort scares me to the core  
Good morning Voldemort!  
And someday when I face you again  
The world's gonna wake up and see  
The boy who lived, lives on

I know every spell  
I know ever charm  
But I know Voldemort will do me harm  
I see the green light flash ahead  
So someone save me before I drop dead!

So Oh Oh  
Give me a chance  
With Ginny's romance before the Dark Lord kills me!  
Oh Oh Oh  
Something inside of me makes me shake  
When I'm in his wake

My guts tell me no  
But my heart tells me go  
I have to stop him before the end  
Oh Oh Oh  
Don't make me wait one more moment for my life to change!

You evil Voldemort  
Every day's like a closed door!  
Every night is a scary dream  
Every sound's like a wolverine

And I promise Voldemort  
That someday when I meet you again  
The world's gonna wake up and see  
The boy who lived, lives on!


	2. Kill All the World

Okay, here's the second song. Enjoy!

* * *

Kill All the World

Sung by Voldemort

Look at my wand  
Isn't it neat?  
Wouldn't you think all my spells are complete?  
Wouldn't you think I'm the guy  
The guy who kills everything?

Look at me go  
I don't think you know  
Of how many people that I could dispose?  
Looking at my history, you'd think  
Sure, he killed everything

I've got jinxes and hexes aplenty  
I've got potions and curses galore  
You want death eater friends?  
I've got plenty  
But who cares?  
No big deal  
I hate Dumbledore!

I wanna kill Harry Potter  
I wanna see, wanna see him suffer  
Trying to save all the students at…  
What's that school again? Oh…Hogwarts!

Waving your wand, you don't get too far  
You can't have a heart to hurt innocent people  
Killing the wizards with….what's that curse again?  
You'd think I'd remember….  
Oh….Avada Kedavra!

Up where they laugh  
Up where they smile  
Up where they learn all day, and meanwhile  
Out in my lair  
I'm gonna tear  
Harry Potter

What would I give if I could have the Elder Wand  
What would I pay to spend a day killing Muggles

Betcha they'll stand  
They don't understand  
The powers I can unleash upon them!

Stupid old wizards  
Dumber than lizards  
Waiting to be killed

And I'm ready to take what should be mine  
Take over Hogwarts and teach them Dark Magic  
What's a friendship and why does it  
What's the word….prevail

When's it my turn?  
When will I see  
All the opportunities waiting for me?

To kill all the wizards  
To have my revenge  
And live in peace


End file.
